my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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