I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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