Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize