no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize