You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
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Go christen that room with your naked body.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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