Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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