OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize