So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
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you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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