I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize