so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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