3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hippo gnu deer
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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