and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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