This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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