just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
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I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
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You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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