I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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