Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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