Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize