Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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