we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
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Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
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Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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