i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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