This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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