Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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