He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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