I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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