then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
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We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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