the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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