bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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