if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drunk is not a location!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
