Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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