I'm so fucking centered right now
you didnt know i had herpes?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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