How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize