Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize