Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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