we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
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I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
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I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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