She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize