My room smells like vodka and shame
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I need moral support for this bender
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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