is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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