Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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