nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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