do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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