She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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