hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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