can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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