i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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