I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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