i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
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