I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize