I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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