farters have to be the big spoon...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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