I'm jealous of your bromance
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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