I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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