he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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